Back to Life
The past couple months have been tough. Loaded with doctor’s appointments, training, and trying to organize my life for racing and travel.
I went to California for Redlands. And SURVIVED!!! I raced everyday, which is pretty incredible. I didn’t feel so great, but getting through to each day was pretty incredible. Especially considering I had my accident about 6 months before.
I went back to Santa Fe with a new drive to train and push hard to get fitter. I started doing 2 a days with a morning spin then a later workout. That was also tiring and not so easy on my body. But it pushed me and was good overall for my fitness.
Then at the end of May I left for Canada and am here now. I raced the UCI GP Gatineau Road Race and Time Trial. This was a real check of my fitness and push to see how I am progressing. I finished and felt good, but it was a tough race that put me in my place. I need to keep growing and getting better. It hasn’t been that long and I have to understand I won’t be where I was for a long time.
I need to increase my fitness and feeling better also. I am now at my coach’s house outside of Toronto and training here until Nationals next week. I leave then (18 June) for Tennessee and am excited to race that again this year.
I am having to learn patience and to curb my expectation because I want to be just as good as I was, but also have to consider that I was in this accident about 7 months ago and in the hospital for almost 2 months. I have to understand my body won’t be back to where it was for a while.
I have a lot of therapy and self growth to go through. It will take a while and I can’t expect to be just right back to normal again. When I see old friends or people I know they are surprised to even see me racing. Which to me is also surprising because I love to race, but understandable as most people that have gone through what I have wouldn’t be here or at least what I am working towards. And that is just it, I love to race and be on my bike. So I guess that’s what keeps me going and in this sport. I want to pedal and get better. I just have to be ok with progress at my own pace.
I know it won’t be fast, but that is hard for me to completely understand and accept I want to be better and ok now. Back to how I was and normal, but it won’t. I have to be ok with my hands, shoulder, head and body for needing recocery and go slow. So I will get it…. Eventually.